New Year…New Game Plan!

Why plan?

Each year we turn a new chapter in our lives. New beginnings call for new plans and new resolutions. As human beings we owe it to ourselves to improve each day. New Year represents a perfect timing to chart out the ways we want to improve ourselves, be it by planning for a career move or learning a new skill like a new language or swimming. In that direction, out of personal experience I can say with confidence that planning things out does give oneself some perspective of where you stand and where you want to get to. The ‘go with the flow’ attitude towards life takes you just as far as what chance has in store, and more often than not we regret not doing certain things that we should have. Imagine yourself in a sea, just drifting based on the current of the waves. Where would you get to?! In my opinion, this is similar to a life without any plans to follow or goals to reach. Planning life ahead helps one prepare mentally for the tussle and discipline required for reaching one’s goals.

Goal setting!

Some would say ‘I do not want to waste time in planning as I never follow what I plan’! Mind you this is not lack of motivation, resistance to change, or a commitment issue at all. The reason why you took out time to plan instead of spending it doing something else is because you are prepared for change and because you think you would be committed to bring out those changes in your life. I would identify the failure to follow plans as loophole in the goal setting process. It is of paramount importance to set achievable goals. There’s got be a realistic view of your circumstances and your capabilities while planning; only then is it possible to keep yourself motivated to reach your goals. We all must have heard about setting SMART goals, i.e., goals should be Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Time bound.

Give yourself ample thinking space and time while setting goals and planning. If carefully done, this could be your blueprint for implementing successful changes that you have always wanted to achieve. Get into details of the what, when, and how. Visualise and imagine the small things in your journey; starting from how would you feel when you achieve your goal and then work your way backwards to where you are now. Imagine your journey to get to your goals, work out the tasks that you would have to factor in to get there and finally put all of it on paper. It is a good helpful technique to display your goals in your work area or home to reinforce them day in and day out.

Way ahead…

Once you have made plans whatever they may be, big or small, just keep in mind the following while trudging towards them. I am going to quote a few famous sayings and/or my interpretation of them in the text below, simply for the reason that they perfectly sum up in few words the shifts in thinking patters that we need to achieve to get to our targets.

Albert Einstein said “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”. If you want to achieve different results in any realm, change the way you approach it. Research and reinvent.

Never look back. What was was in the past! Do not let the events that happened in the past restrict you from achieving your goals in the future. Let go of what happened in the past, let go of the why not’s and the should have’s and look ahead. That’s where you would find success.  

Dreams are turned into reality by acting on them. To dream and plan is not enough, Action is very important as well. It is you who has the capability to make or break your dreams and aspirations of your perfect life simply by being trapped in the past or by not acting on your plans.

Finally, never mind the setbacks, keep your focus on your goals and move on. Falling seven times is not important, what is important is to have got up the eighth time. Ever seen an ant reach a sugar bottle on the top most shelves, the ant falls several times before it gets up there…never gives up till it reaches its destination! Accept setbacks, use them as learning experiences and move ahead.

Surrender to what is.   Let go of what was.    Have faith in what will be.  -  Sonia Ricotti

Have a happy, healthy and prosperous 2014! J

Cheers!!

So…what are your new year’s resolutions?

Power of Choice Part 2: Exercise the Power of Choice

“Destiny is no matter of chance. It is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.” - William Jennings Bryan

I talked about the Power of Choice in my previous article. In this one, I intend to list out how you can ‘Exercise’ the Power of Choice.

You may not be able to control or choose all the circumstances that occur in life but you can, for sure, control and choose how you perceive those circumstances and respond to them. You can do this by exercising the power of choice. Here’s how you can Exercise the Power of Choice.

Be proactive not reactive. Do not be influenced by your environment, past, or people surrounding you so much so that you just become a remote-controlled prop and start reacting when anything/anyone pushes the buttons on the remote. Choose not to get affected by the way others look at you or treat you because what the other person thinks or talks about is none of your business. Even if you have suffered a setback, choose to be okay! Life has a brighter side and you can choose to experience it! Rather than simply reacting to life and whining about what difficulties it has thrown at you, you can instead choose to count your blessings, feel strong and make a choice to be happy. Take the remote control in your own hands: take charge of your feelings, thoughts and responses.  No one else can do this for you. You have to do it for your own well being. Read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

Be internally driven. Many of us base our happiness and sorrows on things that happen to us rather than taking charge of our reactions. We base our self-worth on how we measure up to the expectations of the society, our parents, our partners, our peers and our siblings too at times. We start to undermine our worth and feel that we don’t have control. We attribute our failures and successes to external circumstances. This is termed as having an external locus of control. This extraneous locus is something you have to get rid of. Here’s an anecdote, though drastically cut short, I hope it drives the point home. A trainer held up a $100 note and asked how many want it. A lot of hands went up in the audience. He then crumpled the note and stamped it under his feet and again asked ‘who wants it now’? Many hands still went up. It was still a $100 note no matter what! So there you go, no matter what circumstances you face, how people treat you, your failures and setbacks; your worth always remains intact. You are what you believe you are. You have the control to change things the way you want them! Have confidence and be internally driven.

Be responsible. Life is eventually a sum total of the choices that you make. This implies that whatever you do or what happens to you is just your sole responsibility. You are responsible for your state of mind, your actions and ultimately your successes and failures in life. “Be ‘response able’. We are not animals. We are not a product of what has happened to us in our past. We have the power of choice says Stephen Covey”. Take control of your thoughts, emotions and choose your responses. The choices that you make will slowly add up to frame your destiny.

Be conscious. Being aware is the one thing that God has blessed all Homo sapiens with. No other species can observe themselves like we can. We have the power to reinvent ourselves. In Awareness or Consciousness lie many answers that you have been seeking. Read Awareness. Being conscious about the options in front of you and possible outcomes they may have in future gives you the much required strength to exercise the power of choice. Even if you’ve made some bad ones in the past, it’s not the end of life. Visit your past and contemplate why and how. Once you have deduced that, make conscious efforts not to repeat the same mistakes again. Just be conscious/aware that you have the power to choose. Weigh your options, visualize the possible outcomes and take an informed decision.

Practice can make anything perfect. Practice is what will help you widen the ‘space’ between the stimulus and response that I have spoken about in my previous article.  Once you start being proactive, internally driven, aware and start choosing your responses wisely, you will keep on getting better at it. The more you practice, the better you will get. The power of choice is so empowering that there comes a stage where your responses would have the potential to actually change the stimulus itself.

Remember “What we call the secret of happiness is no more a secret than our willingness to choose life. - Leo Buscaglia”

Cheers! 

Power of Choice Part 1: Don’t Simply React – Choose Your Actions.

In my previous articles on Positive Attitude and How to develop it I have mentioned the power of choice a few times as a potent tool at each one’s disposal. I intend to elaborate the concept in this article.

Day in and day out we face various circumstances in life where we have to decide what to do almost as frequently as we breathe (metaphorically of course ;)). Now what this does is, it sets in a ‘decisional fatigue’. As a result, the brain simply starts making decisions owing to the decisions we’ve made in our past and old habits it has been recording on a tape from the time you were born. There is a reason why people say ‘Old habits die hard’. Nonetheless, research on the topic has also shown that via training certain parts of the brain can be rewired to replace old bad habits with new constructive ones. Rather than letting our brain follow patterns of the past we can consciously start making decisions that would have a positive effect on us. I would reframe that as making better choices. Read How to Make Better Decisions for more help on this. 

Each day we face many choices, the one we make is up to us and that designs our future.  Life throws stimulants at us, the way we ‘respond’ is our choice. Whether it is as simple as to smile or frown at a nasty comment, to maintain calm or panic in a crisis, to get back with zeal or tiredness to a unsolvable problem, to take charge or to let emotions way us down, to forge ahead or to give up in the face of challenges. It is all about what we chose to do! Our past thoughts and actions, I would term them as ‘the choices that we made’, make us who we are today.  Similarly the choices that we make today would determine who we become tomorrow. This simply means that we are the engineers of our own destiny. Don’t you think it is then imperative to take charge and construct a future that you desire?  It sounds simple, but is it possible? Yes, it is! Read The Secret for deeper understanding.

If you’ve noticed I’ve mentioned ‘respond’ in the previous paragraph not ‘react’. This is because a reaction is an instantaneous action without any involvement of our cognitive abilities whereas a ‘response’ is a conscious choice that we’ve made. While responding we use our brain as a filter between the stimulus and our response. When I say use our brain as a filter, I mean using ‘the space’ between the stimulus and response. This space is where the power of choice lies. This space is varied based on the conditioning of different people. Nonetheless, it can be widened when the technique of exercising the power of choice is practiced. So, I say start today, reinvent yourself. Be the creator of a successful future.

In the next article, I would enunciate how you can use the power of choice. Keep reading!

This video by Steven Covey on The Power of Choice conveys a lot that could bring about a change in your perspective.

Cheers!

Attitude Part 2 - How to develop a Positive Attitude?

“Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.”  Winston Churchill. 

If you are reading this, I would like to congratulate you for having the will to work on yourself. The following points would take you in your desired direction of developing a positive attitude.

Accept yourself. The first step is to accept yourself the way you are. Only then would you be able to make yourself more positive as a person. The first thing we do on visiting the doctor is to accept that we have an illness and then we follow his prescribed medicine. Right? Now, make a commitment to yourself that you are going to follow the next steps.  

Be aware. Be aware of your own thoughts before you take any action. Take a deep breath. Be aware of your own thoughts. You can do this by observing your thoughts and feelings. Ask yourself, what am I thinking now? How is it making me feel? If you think it is negative, combat the thought with thinking exactly the opposite positive thought persistently. Visualize your own positive thought. Again ask yourself, how am I feeling now? If you feel better and more positive you are on the right track. Do this exercise time and again. You can even use a diary to record your feelings initially. Slowly you will develop a habit of thinking positive.

Act Judiciously. An attitude is most visible through the words we speak and the actions we take. Once you have followed step one, you are aware of your feelings and you have tried converting them into more positive ones. You would feel calmed down. Now, when you are in a more positive state, take a judicious action. Use your ‘Brain as a Filter’ between the stimulus you receive and the reaction you show. Always remember, you have the choice to react the way you want. Once you have mastered the art, you be able to chose your actions and transform your life. Read Emotional Freedom.

Act Now. Most of us indulge in procrastination. Each day we keep postponing things and assure ourselves that we’ll do it later. Sadly, that ‘later’ never arrives and we are overwhelmed by a sense of guilt. Unknowingly we are draining our positive energies by procrastinating. Read more about Overcoming Procrastination.  Have a ‘do it now’ attitude and you will infuse positive energies in your day and this will make it a lot more easy for you to develop and sustain a positive attitude.

Positive Affirmations. This is a powerful tool to change one’s thinking pattern. Use it to your advantage. Write down positive statements about yourself and tell them frequently to yourself many times a day for 21 days. E.g.; I always see the brighter side in all situations. I am a peaceful person. I always think before I take an action. You would see a change. Read Positive Affirmations: Positive words that will improve your life!

Replacement. This involves replacing negative words or phrases with their positive counterparts. The technique is a verbal counterpart of the mindset change that we have spoken before. Try to be a more positive speaker – both when you are speaking to yourself and when you are speaking to others. For instance, instead of saying “I will not be tense”, say “I will be relaxed”. It has been seen that the human mind is prone to get attracted to and to think about things which it explicitly is instructed to avoid. Try this – say “I will not think of a white elephant”, and see what image crops up in your mind! It may seem childish or naive, but this technique has been proved by research to work wonders.

Practice. It takes practice to learn to develop a positive attitude like any other skill. May be this would take longer than the others, but persevere. But once you have mastered it, you feel more in control of your life. Positive energies begin to flow and each day becomes brighter no matter what is happening around you, because you start looking at the brighter side of life. Also, read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People to make lasting changes in your personal and professional life.  

Lastly, have confidence in yourself that you can face the challenges of life and emerge as winner. Read about people who have achieved success and mimic their behaviors  Have the belief that things are in your control and you have the power to choose.

 “Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine.”  Anthony J. D'Angelo. 

Read more quotes on Positive Attitude.

Cheers! 

Attitude Part 1 - Your Attitude Unquestionably Determines Your Altitude

A lot has been written on this topic, here are my two cents. 

To begin with I would like to quote a couple of lines from my favourite poem If You Think: “Life’s battles don’t always go to the stronger or the faster man, But sooner or later the man who wins is the man who thinks he can!”

Such is the power of positive thoughts and a positive attitude. Thoughts translate into actions, and actions make us who we are and who we will eventually become. Hence, we must not undermine the significance of a positive attitude towards everything in life. We are the creators of our own destiny - what unfolds is what we think of. William James rightly said, “The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering attitudes of mind.” I would recommend you read ‘You Can Win’ by Shiv Khera for more insights and anecdotes.

I believe no one adopts anything negative wishfully; this holds true for pessimism as well.  Most of us go through life believing that our circumstances, our environment, and other extraneous factors make most of us what we are! Right? Absolutely wrong!! Even if life is treating you badly, YOU have the choice to react in the way YOU want. If life throws lemons at you, make lemonade and call everyone for a party! That’s called a Positive Attitude! The power of choice is a great one. Each day, in each situation you face in life, you ALWAYS have two choices: to be in a good mood or bad, to be brave or scared, to smile or frown, in short to be positive or negative. So, don’t simply react – make a choice!

All said and done – it is not easy! May be the next few examples would motivate you towards maintaining a positive attitude and making a positive choice. While I would never encourage anyone from dropping out of school, it seemed like a suitable choice for Bill Gates who dropped out of Harvard, maintained a positive attitude, cashed on the opportunity and made it as the richest man in the world. Abraham Lincoln failed in business, was defeated in legislative race, overcame the death of his sweetheart, had a nervous breakdown, lost congressional race, lost senatorial race, failed in an effort to become vice-president and yet Abraham Lincoln became the 16^th President of United States. It would have been difficult had he not maintained a positive attitude after the rejections he faced. Thomas Edison was partially deaf and was sent back from school at 4 years of age. He just had 3 months of schooling.  So you see what a positive attitude can do for you.

"If you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right!" - Henry Ford.

When you are going to do something and you think ‘You can’ eventually you will, the opposite is true as well. The battle is half won or lost right there in your mind. A self-fulfilling prophecy comes into play. I have personally experienced this innumerable times that our thoughts become reality.  If you let self-doubt creep into your head and start developing a negative thought and attitude you’ve already assured 50% failure even before trying. Such is the magnitude of our own thoughts and attitude. A positive attitude attracts positivity and success into our lives.

Now that we know the benefits of a positive attitude, the next question is how to develop it? The next article would enlist just that. Keep reading.